Three (3) Very Small “But Important” Steps to Healthy Relationships



How to determine whether a potential prospect is a sex-capade or true love.

Once you understand the three small but important steps to healthy relationships, you will learn more about potential lovers beforehand to determine if it’s really love or just lust. When dating set your pace, for true love does not come overnight. If you’re looking for a long term relationship, you want to make sure the person you choose is worthy of you. So use this information to recognize what you don’t want so that you can focus on whatever it is that you do want. Being able to strike up a conversation with a stranger shows maturity and a sense of confidence. So, if you’ve gotten this far, you’re on your way, which is precisely why you should read further.

1. Ask Questions To create interesting dialogue, start off by asking questions. Jot down some questions that you may want or need to know about your date, before meeting him or her. When getting to know this person, you want to ask questions that will align with your way of thinking and the things you desire in life. For instance: “What types of movies do you like?” This is a very common question and relevant if you enjoy movies. And wouldn’t it be nice to know that your date loves horrors, which you despise. See what I mean? However, if you ask a question like “Do you work out?” and he does and that’s what you like doing, then you know you share a common interest. Generating carefully chosen questions like these can help you in determining how much you and your new love interest have in common. It’s important to ask questions about the person’s background in order to get a feel for your similarities. Some questions that may be real deal-breakers, such as “What’s your religious background?,” are very important if you have a strong religious belief or just want someone who shares your beliefs. I strongly suggest letting the air out of the tire by posing questions like these early in the discussion:

• Are you married?

• What are your feelings about family?

• How do you feel about religion?

• Do you have kids?

If you’re planning to have family, it’s important that your potential love interest be on the same page.

Now that you have your questions in hand/head, it’s time to sit down with your date and “interview.” Yes, interview. This is all it is, an interview. You are meeting this person to find out if you are compatible. The second step is being observant. Give your undivided attention to this person by becoming tuned in to what he or she is telling you.

2. Be Observant Be present. Put your cell phone on vibrate and don’t look at it until you go to the ladies/gents room. You should have enough questions to keep up an interesting conversation. It’s important that you pay attention. Paying attention makes your date feel important and valid; you can definitely score points here. Observing one’s responses is important because later, if those responses change, it’s a red flag that maybe this person needs some healing from a previous relationship. Always follow up with additional questions related to the answers. Observe, if/when someone’s story changes too often. Consistency is important. Observe the person’s actions. Does he react when you ask questions, regardless of the type of question? This could be a sign of baggage (perceived ideologies from their experiences). You don’t want to move into a relationship that has baggage because that baggage could forever be in the way.

3. No sex Finally, sex is very intimate and if exposed too soon in relationships it could give the wrong impression; one may believe that this is how you are all the time. Initially the connection between two people is bound to be physical, unless they meet on a blind date. Attraction is such a small part of the equation, though. By taking your time and waiting to have sex you will find out if you like this person mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and whether there is a true connection or not. There’s a rule about having sex too soon in a prospective relationship: Don’t have sex for at least 90 days. Steve Harvey coined the 90-day rule in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Don’t give up the drawls! Ladies and gents, until you know who this person is you’re courting, do not exposed your most intimate and precious part of yourself! True, you may never know some people even if it’s a 10-step program, this is why we take our time. One thing I can assure you is, you will learn more about this person thru communicating over 90 days, that will help you make the best decision possible, as compared to sleeping with him or her too soon. Once we become intimate with someone, everything has been put on the table, and if it happens too soon, there won’t be much to talk about, because you will have this awkward intimate relationship you feel committed to based on sex only. At first people will do everything you like because we all have an animalistic attraction and when we are attracted to someone our hormones are disturbed in an animalistic way, which is very sexy and so hard to resist. However, you have to stay focused on the goal if you’re looking for stability. It is imperative that you get to know the person before intimacy. So, why not cherish that feeling and, at the same time, get to know your potential wife/husband on a deeper level? You will also be more inclined to pay attention to your own feelings and have an understanding about what you’re not willing to live with versus what you want to live with.

Getting to know a love interest can take at least 12 face-to-face dates and/or 90 days. In this time span you will not only get to know the person’s habits, but you will find out if you truly want this person in your life. Sometimes this can happen in as little as three conversations. Once you’ve established the three small but important steps to healthy relationships you should have some idea about the person you’re dating or more knowledge about someone you want to date. If nothing else, getting to know the person better may lead to a lasting friendship. The bottom line is, lots of people have long relations after having sex the first night, but the question is, is it a healthy relationship?


Hillary Clinton not conceding…cause havoc amongst democrats.


Why wont Hillary Clinton concede and give Barack Obama the proper respect which he deserves? She’s continuing to show America that she really is a sore looser and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.  She has stated a many of times that she would rally behind the democrats once there has been an elected nominee…well…here we are…what is the problem?

Hillary Clinton is disrespectful not only to Barack Obama but to the rest of the democratic party as well. She is showing America not only is she not respectful to the rules applied in this campaign, but she also has an agenda and she’s not willing to call it quits to allow the democratic party to unite.

Hillary Clinton’s not conceding continues to divide the democratic party and does nothing to help the democrats clinch the nomination come November 3rd.

If Hillary is pressing-on and trying to force Barack in adding her to the ticket for the position of VP…it only makes her look bad and continues to confirm to America that she is not ready for any position of unity.

The democratic party needs to start healing from the mess which Hillary Clinton has put us through during the past 5 months. Many reporters has shown the numbers and proved that she would not win even if she took majority of the delegates and votes…this has been a long and drawn out fiasco…I wish Hillary would put it to rest and think of more than herself or becoming the “first female” to do anything. She has made a name for herself in her husband’s administration.

We just ask that she bell out gracefully that we (democrats) can heal, unite and ensure that there will not be another Bush administration in our white house.

Clinton’s Aides ALARMED!…is this case a of “MISMANAGEMENT?”…again!


Can you you believe this!

Aides alarmed! 

“Aides to Clinton said earlier this week they were alarmed at the lack of clarity about many of the caucus rules …”

Is this who we truly want for our president. Aren’t we tired of “msimanagement”…we need new ideas and solutions to the many issues we have in america not to mention…”economy” and another is “communication.” Although we are a great nation, we have to remain conscious, with that said, America needs to have a system in place with effective aides, advisors and managers who will make the right decision for the country not for ones personal gain/vain.

Hillary is not fit or ready to manage our country…she fell to plan, organize, lead and control in her current organization/campaign. She’s an intelligent woman, but I think she should stick with smaller cabinets (i.e. VP, senator) untill she is ready to take on such a large task as “President of the United States of America.”

Enough of the mismanagement! The last 8 years have put us in a crisis with a deficit which it will be hard for any of our presidential candidates to ever get us up out of  in only a 4 year term.  

America we have to know that we deserve the best! But it starts with ideas and solutions which are well thought and laidout from start to finish.

Barack Obama has been consistent, collective and smooth, further proving he has the management skills that it takes to be a “President of the United States of America.” Along with his great ideas of starting with the people, and being open to hearing what the people would like and communicating with not just our allies, but our enemies as well. 

Starting from the bottom is a great idea, this is something america has tought americans for many years…so lets… as Barack say’s, “live the american dream.”

No president has had experience at being a president in his/her first term. Every president we’ve had, had no experience running a nation before his first term. But we trusted them and there thought out ideas and views of what they wanted and we took a shot at them by giving them our votes. Yet to be disappointed once again.

It’s 2008 and Barack Obama has a well thought out plan, and it starts with “hope, peace and love” …I truly believe america is ready for greatness for all. We are a leading country when it comes to diversity….our ideas may differ a bit… but i dont believe they are too far from similar…unless you are a person who loves adversary, hate, discontent and enjoys living off others misery. 

I just hope america take a seat, sit back and believe we can have the best. 

Who Gains or Losses in the California Fires and will the lost make a difference in current housing trends?


Strangely California is the only state I know that continues to experience high rates of fires. It is also the state with the highest real estate markets in the country. What I’ve observed in the past 4 years, these fires always seem to startup when housing rates or the people are at dire straits.

In October 2003 when housing rates were off the scales hemorrhaging the most highest sale rates in the country, a fire broke out burning over 3,000 homes in the SoCal area and “fire officials blame at least two of the fires on arson.”

Here it is October 2007 prices are dropping like flies…literally. The price of housing has went down not 1, 2, or 3 percent, but an average of about 5 percent each week in the last two months…outrageously horrifying for sellers and joyously advantageous for the buyer and these fires are also presumed to have been caused by arsonist.

However, there are some who truly stand to loose big in a market of such indecisiveness and flux. Not to mention the many creative financing which thousands of homeowners were tricked into signing and lost their homes as a result by mortgage lenders bad decisions.

Over the last 10 years or so lenders have promoted a numerous amount of creative financing loans which created a means for low income homeowners to obtain a home, as a result this method backfired on not just the lenders but the homeowners as well…sending soaring numbers of homeowners into foreclosures and even some lenders out of business.

“Lenders sent California homeowners the highest number of default notices in over a decade last quarter, the result of flat of falling prices, anemic sales and a market struggling with the excesses of the 2004-2005 home buying frenzy.”


Foreclosure Statistics from 1992-2007

Not only have SoCal have seen a tremendous increase in the number of foreclosures but due to the supply-and-demand for housing back in 2000-2004, builders went on a rampage and built more homes to meet the supply-and-demand and because of greed not realizing the increase in the amount of homes that have been built. As a result haulting the supply-and-demand, and created a market which was once in favor of the seller/builder, but now leveled the playing field and forced a number of those sellers/builders to drop prices at levels which were not seen in over 5 years in the SoCal areas. These sellers/builders are practically trying to give there homes away because of the current market.

“Home sales in Southern California plunged to the lowest level in more than two decades, as financing with “jumbo” mortgage dropped by half. The median price paid for a home dropped sharply as a result.”


Housing Sales Statistics from 1988-2007

The fires are simply a fine line between thought and action. Although some may think to do something so disastrous but never do it. Then there is that proactive thinker who’s going to take action regardless of who is at stake.

The fires have burned over 3500 homes and still burning today. California should implement an “interstate terrorist law” and reward anyone who hears of anyone speaking on any acts of arson on California should be sent to prison for a long time.

I think this also says a lot about California residence. Is California residence so arrogant and greedy that their willing to risk innocent peoples lives because of their fear of lack and limitation?

I think this is a terrorist act, and this does not mean that it’s someone who is not a citizen. I truly believe that its an “interstate terrorist” and I hope and pray that the terrorist is caught and put behind bars where he/she belongs for the rest of their life.

I feel for the many innocent homeowners and families and pray that they recover in a big way. In the meantime, I will be watching those fire updates on local news and those stats on the housing flux in SoCal. Peace.

Any thoughts?


5 Children Killed…NOT GUILTY?


Andrea Yates was found “not guilty” by reason of insanity on Wednesday in her second trial for drowning her five young children in a bathtub in 2001 (see the verdict). If she is not the one who killed these kids, who then? Who is guilty of leaving those poor helpless little children in the care of this obviously sick person and how many more kids are under this sought of duress? I say duress, because children have no choice in when they should come into this world or whom should take care of them, they had no one looking out for them. Where was the husband? Where was the family? Did they not know that this woman was sick?

Andrea Yates

idk. Send her to a spa and training facility…let her relax and learn how to sew and feed ducks while tax payers take care of her for the rest of her life …WTF!

If she were a Black Woman or a Male…they would be ready to hang them…I don’t get it.

Do You?Preview »

R. Kelly, 8 out of 9 charges…is this enough?


I saw the video of R. Kelly and the 14 year old…I was sick behind it, because it was tough taking-in the fact that a grown as man would take advantage of an innocent child like that. Just as Chester “Chet” Arthur Stiles 37, performed the most horrific (as stated by police) and pervertive acts in the case where the police received a video tape of Chester “Chet” Arthur Stiles raping a 3 year old.

R. Kelly


As adults we have a responsibility to protect the children we are surrounded by, not take their innocents and ruin their lives for your own personal and selfish satisfactions.

Surprisingly…or maybe not…I was in the barber & salon speaking on this case, and one male adult made a statement that, “the 14 year old was doing things which made her appear as if she was 27, and there was money exchanged.” Which assumably makes this act…right.

I beg the differ, we should not negate our responsibilities as adults and take advantage of the ill, old, young, and innocent.

I hope that all of these pedophiles are charged to the maximum of the law on such acts that they rehabilitate and learn from there acts.

I believe this is a learned behavior and maybe this happened to these guys, but it does not make it right. Adults should learn from their past, and not repeat it. These young people have some healing to do and I hope and pray that they get the necessary healing required to bounce back from such robbery of innocence.

Do you think rapist ought to be castrated for there acts?

Do you think that if castration was a punishment rapist would think twice about raping?